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~ You know what I notice about dreams?  They are like the way an artist works in fantasy.  A lot of them are very symbolic, imagery driven and borrow from a great many real things in your daily life.  But nothing is ever really what it was in your waking life.  Like in a dream I just had I remember a shop that had tvs in it and other things for sale.  It had the exact impression of being the same convenience store in a subway I frequent but then it also had elements of a second hand store I visited and another small shop downtown.  Just like the way people work in the movies combining several elements from various styles in order to create a new character or location ~

~ The same with people in my dreams its like people I might call one of my friends but when I wake up I know its not her.  The one in particular I'm speaking of looking back had a strange depth in my dream.  Like this person who was one way in my life, in the dream, seemed like she was a character being played by a much more seasoned and deep actress.  I got the impression she was wearing the character of the girl I knew in life.  Like she was even wearing the dream, looking through it at me.  As if it was a very important interaction somehow.  But who she really was I have no idea yet ~

~ What I think, is that you actually are interacting with real people or beings in your dreams.  I think yes sometimes its all you.  But other times I think its a shared experience.  And in some of those nightmares, you are actually encountering what I call "feeders."  The feeders are like energy Vampires who feed on your energy through exploiting your weaknesses and fears.  They themselves are very frightened and low energy so they only feel comfortable "feeding" in this way rather then drawing energy from source ~

~ One time in particular very recently I had an experience where I was very open psychically but completely unfocused and sort of spilling out all over the place.  When I fell asleep that night I had a dream I was in my house but it was very very dusty and yellowy looking, like it had been there for a thousand years or something.  Everything was broken down and damaged and all the same musty looking yellowish colour.  I opened the door to the washroom and looked at the toilet which had a huge crack right through it.  All of a sudden my mother in her characteristic bathrobe, came from around the corner and started yelling at me for damaging the toilet.  I played it off, as if it were no big deal. At which point an unusual thing happened.  I think I heard myself instruct the demon to attack me.  Not like with language mind you, it was like I was giving myself an idea about how to push myself a little further with it.  The being that was playing my mother suddenly started pushing herself on me and a large thing grew out of her genitals and started like raping me.  I think I woke up at this point going "what the fuck!?" ~

~ I think I was trying to wake myself up in the dream through this allowed attack.  My energy in my body had risen to a significant level to this and had become very attractive to other entities.  Another time when I felt like the energy from my third eye was very open just in between dream and waking I felt a being swallowing the focus from my third eye into a hole.  I had to pry myself away from it.  It felt like a real nasty feeling like it had a rusty sound to it like someone you don't want to meet in a dark alley.  I guess thats what the fourth dimension is like a dream alleyway.  Ha ha ~

~ Well I guess its many things and one of them is its where I think we actually go when we create our dreams.  Which would mean the brain isn't actually what we think it is, its not actually like a machine to create and store all these imaginings but its only a very complex receiver.  Maybe like a computer interface.  But all the games we play take place on the internet, same with all the knowledge and information and everything.  This would mean that its only ever about opening on all levels to be able to function in any walk of life more… well… functionally ~

~ Maybe thats why people like einstein would fall asleep with equations and wake up with the answer.  Because its a lot quicker to use a holographic interface you are completely integrated in then to try to run it through an otherwise very resistant waking mind.  This would also mean that on this level that we call our "waking life" or "real world" we are actually so asleep we only ever function of the most limited capacity for the majority of our lives.  And it would mean we die without ever truly realizing our full limitless capacity for creation and experience as human beings ~

~ I remember one other time I tried to wake myself up while dreaming.  I was looking out through my backyard door window at four different versions of my dog running in a circle.  Each one was a little more extravagant then the last.  I remember thinking to myself "imagine if this was a dream?" and I just kept on staring in wonder.  I woke up slapping my head saying things like "you stupid fucking idiot!" Yes I am a giant moron who just can't seem to be able to figure out he's totally dreaming on all levels all at once ~


~ It would mean one other thing and that is that when we Die the first thing we become are Our Dreams, Literally ~

๑ • ☩ †ℌ℮ ₪∆ℜ₭ℵℇsS ☩ • ๑

~ In the in between there lays a stretch of darkened land where no man and un-men dwell.  It is a place of endless echo of a darkness from long ago.  If your not careful or forget to keep your wits about you you may lose yourself forever.  There is a wood in this land which ever deepens and darkens worse then any wood imaginable.  The further in you go the thicker more dense it becomes.  And after you travelled in very deep there are openings like deep pockets of shadow where dark men dwell and those whose sadness drew them into the wood has left them wandering eternally forsaken.  They are not so much a threat as those who beg you to travel down certain paths with them promising a swifter way ~

~ Now if I had been a traveler wise in the ways of the wood I would not so easily have fallen into this seduction.  However the wood is dark and there are many screaming cries of misery and very disturbing things inside that bring into question all that a man like me believes well about himself.  There is endless doubt which lives hidden in the woods.  Fears that most are very unaware they even have but soon discover they do ~

~ A woman appeared before me once in the sweetest solitude of night.  She was very fair and inviting and knew many things about the woods I travelled.  I decided it would be wise to follow her for some time to learn and get the feel of this place.  But she led me down a shadowy path requiring many sacrifices I unwillingly made.  She robbed in the end of a piece of my sanity and left me barren with nothing ~

~ It was only then after much travel and hardship at my wits end did I first catch the hint of something very precious in the wind.  A scent of something familiar from my youth.  A beautiful ecstasy in this dark place where nothing but sadness and broken dreams lay.  This little hint of something in the wind filled me suddenly with such life and invigoration.  The life filled up in my body again and I rose up with a strong heart and stumbled my way following it as best I could.  It led me to a small stream where I refreshed myself and carried on hurriedly to find the source of this scent in the wind.  The stream spilled and flooded pooled and wiggled all around the countless deadened trees with little moon drops of flowers growing here and there like silent rebellion of welcome beauty.  I followed them until I began to hear the torrent of water ahead and realized I had finally made my way to the forbidden entrance of the kingdom ~

~ Ahead lays my greatest foe.  In the heartland of my enemy.  After duelling in countless battle upon countless battle with all manner of heinous and endlessly surprising foes.  But in the cave the demon that lies there is one of unimaginable intelligence.  One who can play upon the heros darkest thoughts and doubts in himself.  This demon is known as deceiver and has earned this trait by their own self-deception.  They are like a vacuum where you may lose yourself forever lost in a single unutterable doubt.  Honesty is now the weapon of this hero and humility the manner in which he can undo the deceivers spell ~

~ In the cave there is no one.  There is nothing but the sound of your deepest darkest thoughts squirrelling around you.  If you let your light go out for even a second they might consume you.  So you carry on.  You slip and fall and break your leg and alone you weep bitterly for your dangerous mistakes.  But eventually you have no choice you must carry on.  The hero is always reluctant to go on this journey.  Happy still to simply sit and be as everyone else.  But when no other can meet the call.  The hero understands it must still be met if not by the best by at least those who are willing and so the hero marches on.  Without hope or chance of success, only the impetus to fulfil his task under the most extraordinary pressure he can imagine and in the darkest depths of his own very simple soul.  The hero carries on.  He is compelled to there is no other choice in his mind.  The hero simply does go on because he has to.  That is what a hero must do ~